Jason and Mike wrapped up their presentation to the executive committee, outlining their proposed workflow efficiencies to meet department-wide budget reduction targets. As the session moved into Q&A, the feedback quickly revealed a common concern: the proposed changes didn’t go far enough to hit the budget goals.

Walking toward the elevator, Mike muttered, “What’s the problem?”

Jason replied quietly, “Wait until we’re in the elevator.”

As the doors closed behind them, Jason answered, “The problem was your defensiveness when they asked about our assumptions. Then you questioned their motives when they said we need to revise the plan.”

Mike shot back, “Excuse me for being the only one willing to speak the truth.”

Every day, each of us contributes to promoting or diminishing civility in our environment. Our words, tone, reactions, and behavior shape the culture we’re a part of. While being polite is essential, civility is more than getting along. Civility is the deliberate practice of respecting ourselves and others. It’s the ability to navigate challenges with composure, communicate with intention, and create a workplace where everyone is valued and heard.

You teach others how to treat you by modeling what you expect and normalizing the behaviors that foster trust, connection, and progress. 

Guidance to Strengthen Your Civility Practice:

  • Your inner voice and outer voice should not match. Don’t speak your every thought.
  • Restraint is powerful. It can diffuse tension and open space for honest dialogue.
  • Listen to understand rather than waiting for your chance to reply. 
  • Ask questions before making conclusions. Context deepens clarity.
  • Choose to be patient.
  • Say thank you.
  • Acknowledge others sincerely in the way they prefer to be recognized.


Civility isn’t soft. It is smart, and it builds trust. It strengthens teams and fosters a culture where people are eager to contribute. The question isn’t whether civility matters. It’s whether we’re ready to treat it like the powerful, strategic asset it truly is. 

Contact us to learn about our leadership coaching and training programs that teach and support the development of individual and team civility.